Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Awesome! Me jewellery!

  Sorry, I was supposed to put up a post yesterday but I stayed up too late watch Avatar: The legend of Aang episodes. Whoops! So, it'll be a bonus double post today provided I don't do the same thing tonight. Which I won't...maybe.

 Occasionally, I muse about what I want done with me when I die... No, not like that! I'm not really a fan of lying in a coffin and people having to haul my ass to the cemetery and what not. Also, if when zombies come about I'm not really keen on being a nuisance to the human race. Half rotted corpse isn't a particularly good or graceful look, not to mention the inevitable entrails drooping from my wrinkled, green mouth. I want to be cremated and hope like god that there's no feeling after death.

  See, I want to be cremated and then have my ashes kind of melded into jewellery. This will be written into my will whereupon one of my dying wishes will be for my children to carry a piece of me in the way of jewellery. Imagine the fun!
Scenario: Yzzy is wearing a necklace with my ashes intertwined beautifully with the glass pendant and some guy touches it and she could say,
  "Ew, you're touching my mom."
Mom in this instance because mum sounds less hostile. Moooom, muuum...yeah, definitely mom.
Danté could pass a Hayley-ashen ring down to his heir and so on. It'd be my own piece of immortality!

Holy crap, I just discovered immortality! You just have to be cremated after you die and make people turn you into jewellery that will become heirlooms. Heck, it could be so popular that people a few generations down the track won't have to buy costume jewellery because they'll have a whole heap of heirloom jewellery. I've created a whole niche of jewellery (and destroyed another one, mwahahaha). I really need to start a five year business plan for this.

  There we go. I have now given you the secret to immortality. You're welcome!

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